Student Guidelines for Texting and Social Media

Several years ago, when my oldest son Andrew turned 13, I made the decision to purchase him a cell phone.  Wanting to provide some guidelines for navigating this new world, I came across a wonderful article by Toronto Pastor Tim Challies entitled, “Solomon on Social Media.”  Building upon Tim’s (and King Solomon’s!) wisdom and insight, I put together a list that has become a guide not only for my son, but my three daughters too, as they each received their phone in 7th grade (my most recent daughter being this summer!).

As I have shared with my four children over the years, when we rely on God’s wisdom, not our own, our choices will be much more responsible. But if and when those difficult lessons come and we fail to heed Scripture’s guidelines, we must learn to accept the consequences and allow them to be equally instructive.

For that is when God’s wisdom and grace are most needed.

I hope that you will find the below list helpful, as you discuss these issues with your children as well!

Top 10 Rules to Guide your Texts, Emails and Social Media Posts

1.  Always think through what you write before you send a text/email and make a social media post.  Realize that anyone and everyone may view/read what you write!

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 29:20).

Corollaries to #1 (a.k.a. “The Murray Rule”):  

  • Do not email/text/post embarrassing pictures or videos of yourself or our family to other people without our permission. Once it is out there, you can never retrieve it. It may even make it to YouTube!
  • Do not forward email/text conversations with Mom or Dad without our     permission. Realize that anyone and everyone may view/read what we write!  “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise”            (Ephesians 6:2).                        

 

2.  Build others up—do not cut them down. Not only is that biblical, but you must realize that anyone and everyone may view/read what you write!

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29)

 

3.  Avoid gossipers and gossiping about others. Realize that anyone and everyone may view/read what you write!

“The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body” (Proverbs 29:22).

 

4.  Avoid spreading rumors. Don’t always believe what you read!

“Like one who binds the stone in the sling is one who gives honor to a fool” (Proverbs 26:8).

 

5. If someone writes something you disagree with, sometimes it is best not to respond. Don’t be afraid to seek our advice!

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself” (Proverbs 26:4).

 

6.  However, if someone is spreading lies/rumors and hurting others, sometimes we need to prayerfully respond. Don’t be afraid to seek our advice!

“Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes (Proverbs 26:5)

 

7.  Avoid creating problems.

Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling” (Proverbs 26:27).

 “As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife” (Proverbs 26:21).

 

8.  Avoid other people’s problems.

“Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears” (Proverbs 26:17).

 

9.  Don’t brag about yourself! People like humility 🙂

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).

 “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (Proverbs 29:23).

 

10.  Protect yourself.   Don’t give your number/information to people you don’t know!

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves” (Matthew 5:17).

 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

 

 

 

How Treating Others As Image-Bearers Saved My Daughter’s Life

I want to take this opportunity to share with you excerpts from my recent graduation charge to our sixth graders. Given the challenges facing their generation [and now in light of the tragedies this summer], I hoped to inspire them to see the impact they can have in the world when they treat others like the image-bearers they are. 

Class of 2016, …Reflecting on our chapel theme this year from the Beatitudes, I want to share an illustration that will remind you of the importance of being peacemakers and treating others as image-bearers— regardless of our differences. Dr. Brian Lindman, a Central parent, shared the following story with me— one I later read in The Washingtonian magazine (which I share from below).¹

I hope this charge inspires you as it did me.

“In 1930, Vivien Thomas, a 19-year-old carpenter’s apprentice had his sights set on Tennessee State College and then medical school. But the [great] depression, which had halted work in Nashville, wiped out his savings and forced him to postpone college. Through a friend who worked at Vanderbilt University, Thomas learned of an opening as a [medical] laboratory assistant for a young doctor named Alfred Blaylock—who was, in his friend’s words, ‘[hard] to get along with.’ Thomas decided to take a chance, and on February 10, 1930, he walked into Blalock’s animal lab…”

“Face to face on two lab stools, each told the other what he needed. Thomas needed a job, he said, until he could enter college the next fall. Blalock…needed ‘someone in the lab whom he could teach to do anything he could do, and maybe do things he couldn’t do.’ ”

“Each man got more than he bargained for. Within three days, Vivien Thomas was performing almost as if he’d been born in the lab, doing arterial punctures on the laboratory dogs and measuring and administering anesthesia. [Amazingly] within a month, the former carpenter was setting up experiments and performing delicate and complex operations…” A carpenter performing surgical operations?

When we treat others like the image-bearers that they are, God uses us often in ways we can’t even imagine.

“By 1940, [with the help of Vivien Thomas], Dr. Blalock’s research had put him head and shoulders above any young surgeon in America. When the call came to return to his alma mater, Johns Hopkins, as surgeon-in-chief, he was able to make a deal on his own terms, and it included [a paid position for] Thomas [to work with him].”

At this point, I should mention that Mr. Vivien was African American and Dr. Blalock was Caucasian— and “they did historic things together that neither could do alone.”

“[For] Together they devised an operation to save what doctors refer to as ‘Blue Babies’—infants born with a heart defect that sends blood past their lungs—[an operation] that Vivien had worked out in the lab, long before Dr. Blalock [operated on] Eileen, the first Blue Baby.”

Before this surgical innovation, Blue Babies died not long after they were born. So it should be no surprise that “almost overnight, Operating Room 706 became ‘the heart room,’ as dozens of Blue Babies and their parents came to Hopkins from all over the United States, then from abroad, spilling over into rooms on six floors of the hospital…One after another [these] children, who had never been able to sit upright, began standing at their crib rails [no longer blue but] healthy.”

In addition to this surgical innovation, Vivien also “found a way to improve circulation in patients whose great vessels were transposed. The problem had stymied Blalock for months, and now it seemed that Thomas had solved it…

“‘Vivien, are you sure you did this?’ Vivien answered in the affirmative. After a pause [Dr. Blalock] said, ‘Well, this looks like something the LORD made.’”

When we treat others like the image-bearers that they are, God uses us often in ways we can’t even imagine.

One of your classmates turned blue 12 hours after she was born with her great heart vessels transposed. She, and thousands of babies like her, would not be here today, if Vivien Thomas and Alfred Blalock had not defied the racial prejudices and injustices of their day to develop these medical breakthroughs together.

For when men and women like Blalock and Thomas treat each other like the image-bearers that they are, God uses them in ways they can’t even imagine.

As you go forth, know you have been greatly blessed by the biblical foundation you have received at Central—echoed in your classmates Stuart, Sarah, and William’s wonderful words tonight on what it means to have a Passion for God, a Love of Truth, and a Zeal to Serve…

I conclude my charge with the challenge from Matthew 5 which directly follows the Beatitudes we learned each month in chapel this year: “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Amen!

P.S. For those who did not attend the graduation service, the Blue Baby with transposition of great arteries was my own 6th grade graduate, Sara Cate Murray, pictured below before her surgery and at graduation (on the right).

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¹Katie McCabe, “Like Something the Lord Made,” The Washingtonian, August 1989.